Love, Beans (chocobeans) wrote,
Love, Beans

Baby rabies

Not a disease but just biology doing what it does best. Sometimes I think about it, what kind of mother I would be and what a kid of my own would be like and act like, and it makes my mind race. I know that I'm in no position to have a kid, financial or otherwise. I guess it's just me being 27 and nature kicking in. I know I'm a general mess right now (though if we're being honest I've been a mess for a few years now) and probably a little too selfish and vain for me to have a kid. I know that you can change your whole life and perspective the moment it happens. At least with some folks. Sometimes I start thinking about all the bad things that have happened to me and how I would feel like a failure of a human being if any of that would happen to my child or children. Realistically I know there's no way to get the world to back of and not be a shitty place and people to not be shitty creatures. I guess it's just a nice thought to indulge in though, even if it's just because of nature doing what it does best.

Clearly I'm prattling on about nothing.
Tags: jumbled thoughts

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