Love, Beans (chocobeans) wrote,
Love, Beans
chocobeans

I hate when the little things set me off. I hate being set off at all. It makes me seem like an ungrateful little twerp. But damn if it isn't the little things that just poo-poo all over your day. Some days I think I could probably lose all my limbs and be OK but the moment my shoelaces are stained, I want to set the house on fire. Then I feel like I can't air my grievances because it will only sound like horrible complaining and me seeming like ungrateful little twerp. I remember way back forever ago when I express some kind of frustration about something, probably just to get it off my chest, and then being chastised about being ungrateful for the rest of the day. Needless to say I didn't say anything else for the rest of the day to avoid adding anymore gasoline to the fire. It's funny what stays with use from the ago of three or three minutes ago. I dunno, maybe I was never meant to be around people who much care to hear complaints that aren't their own. I guess that's one of the many things I can appreciate about writing. Air all the grievances I want without eyes rolling or over-exaggerated, exasperated sighing or having a damn smartphone be a part of the conversation or being the third wheel to Person B and their smartphone. Yes, I'm probably too sensitive as I've heard since the first grade but so what? Balls, is what I say to that.

I guess it really comes down to wanting to be respected as much as I respect others (a simple concept I got since I was 5 or 6 years old. Not that hard people! WWJD or, at the very least, out of common decency) and wanting to be heard. God knows I've talked until I was blue in the face (or, in my case, probably a shade of purple) about this to people I have to be around but no one should be screaming on mute. It's exhausting and tears will likely fall from such frustration. Why is anyone so surprised when I don't say anything about anything to them? I guess I'm just waiting for anyone who actually hears.
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